Retreat experience

     Almost a month ago, I went on a retreat with a group called Charis. The topic was "Decisions... and the transitions that follow." I went into the retreat thinking about getting advice on how to make decisions, particularly with my career or where we want to live. That's not all all what came out of it. This retreat was a life-changing event for me. The second talk that was given was about letting go of the things that hold us back from making transitions in our lives (internal change of how we view our identity, as opposed to a tangible change). The woman who spoke gave a testimonial about herself, something she never talked about in public before. She was bipolar and had to learn how to live with her major ups and downs. She wondered if she would ever have a "normal" life with someone who loves her for who she is. What she had to let go of was the feeling like something was missing in her life and the attitude that this was a debilitating disability. It hit home with me and my depression. After she talked, we were all given index cards to write a few words about the things that are obstructing us from moving on in transitioning. Since her talk really struck me, I felt it was my turn to let go. I wrote about how I don't always like who I am or where I'm at in my life and all those bad things that are not helping me be happy. Then we went outside and when we were truly ready, we ripped up the index cards and threw them in the fire.
     After that, we went into the church and gathered around the baptismal font. We talked about how we were all God's Beloved. They transformed the church into a labyrinth afterwards. We all took different journeys through it. We ran into obstructions along the way, but we also had people encouraging us, just like our journey through life.
     The whole experience for me was life-changing. I felt so free afterwards. I've had a positive outlook ever since. I'm seeing things more positive, acting more positive and I've found myself saying things I normally wouldn't say in that way. It's been a month now and I'm coming down off the excitement high of the retreat, but the experience is so close to my heart that I know that this is the real thing and it will stick with me. I'm hoping that this experience and the transition I'm going through now will eventually carry over into my depression and help me with that.
    During the retreat, after the labyrinth, we wrote letters to God about the things we wanted to let go of. In response, we had to write a letter from God to ourselves. Both of my letters flowed out so easily when I wrote them, that I truly believe God had a hand in those letters. I keep those letters with me and and pray about them often. I am contemplating ways to make the letters pocket sized to have readily available throughout the day when I need a pick-me-up. I hope someday, I can share those letters with you guys because the power I feel in those letters is unlike anything I've ever felt.