Sunday, October 11, 2009

Always waiting...

This has been on my mind a lot lately, as I have seen so many of my friends and family get what they ask for. Have you ever wondered when it's going to be your turn? Things in my life seem to have that reoccurring theme as of late. When is it going to by my turn to get what I want or need? I want to know what to do with my life, I want a good job, I want a family, I want to be completely happy with myself and who I am, I want to dream, I want to achieve those dreams, I want to be successful, I want to figure out what success means to me...

I've seen so many people get the things that I want, and yet, I'm still waiting. I've prayed, I've talked to people, I've worked towards some of these things, but I'm still waiting. I feel like I'm not getting anywhere. I'm still at the starting line and can't get my legs to move.

This makes me sad, but not depressed. I'm okay, but I want more with my life. I want to mean something and accomplish something. When is it going to be my turn?

I'm really not a selfish person. In fact, I think of myself as pretty self-less person. I'm almost always looking out for other people and understanding their decisions and positions. But this one thing in my life... it's okay to be a little selfish, isn't it? Is it wrong to want this for my life when I've been provided for in the important areas of my life (food, shelter, etc)?

When is it going to be my turn?

3 comments:

Lisa said...

Hang in there. It may be hard, but I have a feeling things will eventually start falling into place. I know all of your friends and family are wishing you happiness and contentment. You truly deserve it!

Annette said...

I'm always asking myself when is it going to be my turn. And I hate feeling jealous over other people's fortune.

And you are definitely not a selfish person. You were the best friend a girl could ask for growing up and I'm very thankful you've been in my life for the last 22 years (has it really been that long!).

Anita said...

I wish I had the answer for you. Sometimes there isn't a comfort, there isn't an answer.