Maxwell's birth story

This is long overdue, but for Max's one month birthday, I thought I'd post his birth story since a couple people have asked about it. It's probably going to be really long, so sorry about that.

I was on the phone with my mom on Friday night (10/8/10), talking about my non-stress test that I had that morning for the baby. She asked me if I was having any contractions or anything since I was a week and a half overdue (due Sept. 29th). I mentioned that I had what felt like menstrual cramps accompanied by the need to go to the bathroom. She told me that those are contractions. Nobody told me what they would feel like, or at least put it that way. They just said I'd feel my uterus contract and get hard. Well when I got off the phone with her, I started timing them and they were already about 5 minutes apart. I don't know when they started that day, but I was already in labor!

When I told Nate that I was actually having contractions, we both started our last minute packing and I was going to start cooking dinner to get my mind off of things. That didn't last long because my contractions started to hurt. So I cleaned up the kitchen, loaded the dishwasher and made the house look nice so we wouldn't come back to a mess. Nate packed up the car so that we'd be ready when we needed to go. Around 9:00 p.m., my contractions were 3-5 minutes apart, so we made our phone calls to our families that we were going to the hospital.

We arrived at the hospital around 9:30 p.m. and had to go through the Emergency Room because the main door was locked by then. The lady in Emergency, when I told her we needed to go to labor and delivery (while holding my overnight bag and a pillow), asked me why we needed to go there. Duh! I'm going to have a baby! So she called for a wheelchair and we headed upstairs. We got settled into the room about 10:00. I was only 2 cm dilated, but I was definitely in labor, said the nurse. Around 11, the pain was getting worse and I knew that I wanted an epidural at some point, so I figured why delay it too much, especially when they had to call someone in to do it. I knew it would take a little while for them to get in and get it started. They called someone and there was a mix-up over who was on call, so they didn't do the epidural till around 12:15 or 12:30. My parents arrived around 12:45, having driven from Ohio and left shortly after I called. I chatted with them for a while and eventually we all quieted down for a nap. I didn't sleep much, because my blood pressure monitor kept checking me every 15 minutes, but I was able to rest comfortably. My BP was low, so they put me on oxygen around that time too. Nate slept in a rocking chair next to my bed with his head on my legs. My mom slept in the chairs in my room and my dad went out to the waiting room where there were couches.

Around 1 or 1:30, I was about 5 cm and around 2:00, I was 6 cm. Around 3:00, I was 7 cm and just before 4:00, I was 9 cm. The nurse told me that we'd start pushing soon. My mom left the room and went to my dad. Right about 4:00 a.m., I started pushing. The nurse had to instruct me on how to push because I apparently wasn't doing right. Around 4:15, she turned off the epidural because I wasn't feeling enough how to push. I don't remember feeling any different when she turned it off, maybe it was wearing off gradually enough. My contractions were now 6-7 minutes apart, and they should have been 1-2 minutes apart. So, the nurse consulted with my doctor and me and they ended up giving me some Pitocin to speed up the contractions. Nate and I were joking about how it seemed like it was taking forever (it was maybe 4:30-4:45) and the nurse said she once had someone push for 3 hours. Yikes! I kind of rolled my eyes and wished she hadn't said that.

Around 5:00 or a little after, the nurse noticed the baby's heart rate would drop significantly after each contraction, so she called in the doctor. They talked about what to do and how close the baby was. My contractions were coming now, every 1-2 minutes for about 5 contractions, then I'd have a 6-7 minute break. Let me tell you, I lived for those breaks. Pushing is a lot of work!! I was getting pretty miserable at this point, not from the pain, but from exhaustion. I felt like quitting. But I knew it was one of those situations where I knew if I quit, things would not get better. I was ready to have them do a c-section, but I also knew that they would need to prep me and everything else and I wouldn't stop pushing in the meantime, so I didn't give up.

I'm not sure what time it was, but the doctor got worried enough about the baby that he was ready to do ac-section. Well it was early on a Saturday morning, maybe 6:00, and the OR team wasn't there. I was a little happy that they were planning the c-section because I had felt like it went on long enough. The baby was so close for so long, but not getting anywhere. But they had to call in the OR team and in the meantime, I'd continue to push. They also decided to try vacuum extraction while they waited. in order to do that, they had to perform an episiotomy, which I didn't know. They could not get suction on the baby's head, because he was too cone-headed at that point. They even tried a different machine in case the first one was broken.

During this process, someone must have come in and said the OR team was ready because I heard my doctor say to give him 5 minutes. The doctor and nurse both got a little more enthusiastic with each push. I heard the nurse say she saw hair. When the doctor's voice got a little higher pitched and he actually encouraged me using my name, I knew something was happening. (Not really sure why it struck me that he used my name, but hey, it helped me.) As miserable as I was, I found strength somewhere. After another contraction or two, I felt something pop. I didn't know what it was at first, but Nate made a whimpering/crying noise then, and I knew that the head was out, even though I had my eyes closed with exhaustion. The nurse told me to stop pushing and that is when I knew for sure. I guess the cord was around his neck, but I didn't know that until later. I looked over at Nate then and he was crying in his Nate sort of way. He was in total awe. I love that picture I have in me=y memory!

After my next contraction, the baby came out. I don't remember if I pushed him out or if he just came out. A few seconds later, I heard a cry. It seemed to take forever for them to say that it was a boy, but it was just a few more seconds. At that announcement, Nate let out another cry. I think the timing was a coincidence though, it was probably when he saw Max for the first time. I don't even remember looking at the baby (still exhausted), but I looked over at Nate again and rubbed his arm to tell him I love him and that I was happy. It was 6:40 a.m.

Max was then taken to the other part of the room where there was a warmer and where he got cleaned up and doing his APGAR test. Neither Nate nor I thought he looked like a newborn. They warned us that he wouldn't look great when he came out, that he would be wrinkly and not a good coloration, but he looked a few days old when we saw him. Nate stayed by my side when they were testing Max, but had his eyes on Max the whole time. I could see the love in his eyes already. :)

I delivered the placenta without even knowing it and the doctor started to put me back together. This was when he told me that I had a 4th degree episiotomy and it would take a half hour to finish stitching me. Ouch! My legs were shaking so bad, that I'm surprised that he could get anything done without me messing him up… I finally got Nate to go over and see Max. He was watching closely at everything they were doing and looked adoringly at Max. It was like he was the proud papa! When Max got his nose and mouth suctioned out, he hated it so much that he swatted with both hands at the nurse doing it. It was awesome, so funny!

When the nurse was done with Max, the doctor was still working on me, so they let Nate hold him. He brought him over to me and we had our first family moment. I really wanted to hold him, but didn't want to when I was being worked on and shaking so hard. So they took Max to the nursery after about an hour or so and I didn't see him again until after I had breakfast and was moved to the maternity side of the ward.

Nate kept telling me how proud he was of me. He obviously saw how much work I did and how hard it was. He saw how exhausted I was and was proud that I didn't give up. For me that was a compliment that was hard to take. How can he be proud of me when I WANTED to give up and would have if I could have? I wasn't proud of myself, but I was glad that everything worked out the way that it did and I didn't have to have a c-section. I never thought I was going to die, as someone told me she felt, but I did feel like I was going to pass out sometimes when pushing.

So now that Max is a month old, how do I feel? I feel pretty decent physically. I'm almost back to normal. My episiotomy still bothers me. My groin muscles hurt daily when I do anything, but not as much as pre-pregnancy usually. My actual incision site is good, I think, almost no pain from that. Occasionally I'll have some pain, but nothing unbearable like the first week and a half. I can do things for myself now and can walk around fairly normally, just not fast. I have another problem related to childbirth that nobody told me I got when I was in the hospital. That's going away, but at times, it's still difficult to sit. I'm looking forward to the day that I physically feel normal again.

I'm happy that Max is here now and I can be the one to nurture him. It's a lot of work, but I love him and I love watching him. It's amazing to just watch him. Even his breathing is amazing to me. He was inside my belly just a month ago and he's here now and has no idea how amazing that is to me. I hope he's learning who I am and who Daddy is and that we love him as much as we do already.